Well, Anthony Weiner admitted that he sent a picture of his junk to a college student on Twitter. I have to admit, I’ve been a big fan of Anthony Weiner. He’s been one of about 2 or 3 people in the the three branches of the federal government who represents the entire 20% or so of the country that considers itself liberal. And he does it with strength, humor, and energy that no one else has.
That being said, this has to go down as one of the stupidest things a politician has done. Here’s a brief rundown of just how fucking stupid Anthony Weiner is when it comes to personal responsibility:
1) He took a picture of his erect penis – I have never done this. Now I have taken a picture of my penis and sent it to people and posted it places as a joke (who hasn’t), but never, ever, when I actually had a boner. The mere act of doing that, even if you plan on sending it to no one, is telling anyone who might see it “I am extremely creepy”.
2) He put that picture on the internet – Now I know what you’re saying: He expected it to be private! No. If you read the news, you know that nothing on the internet is private, there’s hackers, administrators who can’t be trusted, unsecure connections, etc. I know, you heard about “secure storage in the cloud”. Fuck that. The cloud is NOT secure and it never will be. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
3) He tweeted it – I am now piecing my head back together, because merely attempting to think about the stupidity of letting a photograph of your erect penis anywhere near Twitter makes my head explode. Twitter is a publicity tool. You post something on Twitter in the hopes that it will be a trending topic, or that others will retweet it. I know, it’s supposed to be a private messsage, blah blah blah. But when the difference between “private” and “tell the world forever” is the letter “d”, well, you might want to be a little extra careful.
4) He used his official Twitter account – WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??? WHY DON’T YOU JUST GET A FAKE ACCOUNT TO SEND COLLEGE GIRLS PHOTOS OF YOUR DICK YOU STUPID FUCK?!!! WHY WOULD YOU USE THE SAME ACCOUNT THAT YOU USE FOR MAKING ANNOUNCEMENTS TO THE MEDIA???
5) He denied he sent it – This is understandable, but still stupid. He not only said he got hacked, but also said that he hired a private security firm to look into it. Here’s what happens when you deny something to that extent – you then have to follow through with it. You need to pay that security firm to investigate. And what will that firm find? That you actually sent a random college student a photo of your crotch. Then you need to bribe them to lie to everyone about it. And what will all that accomplish? No one will believe them.
6) Having denied it, he didn’t deny it all the way – While denying that he sent the tweet, Weiner made comments suggesting that the photo could have been of him, and that he didn’t know if it was or not. What? This has already been parodied plenty, no need to repeat it here. But his story at this point is that he put a photo of his boner on the internet, and then an extremely fortuitous person found it and had the great idea of sending it to an anonymous college student who happened to call Weiner her “boyfriend”. If you have to go that route, just admit it all the way.
Which he eventually did, to his credit. But that doesn’t excuse the six extremely dumb actions above.
But so what if the guy’s a dumb sleazeball? So are just about all of my male friends. In fact, every guy has a story, that they usually only tell their male friends, about that one time they did something incredibly dumb because of some girl and a lot of alcohol. That doesn’t mean they can’t be representatives or presidents or even justices of the Supreme Court. All it means is that they’re human. And who is the worse person? The one who is unable to abide by the artificial constraint of monogamy imposed on him by society, or the one who wants to give tax cuts to the rich in return for campaign donations, instead of solving poverty or cancer or global warming?
No, we liberals are not the embarrassment, we are the light. Follow us, and our bulgy underpants, to a brighter tomorrow.