Nobody in 3-way tie for lead in Republican primary polls, takes lead in South Carolina
November 10, 2011
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My most recent prediction regarding the Republican primary, that nobody would win, seems to be gaining traction. Not to boast, but when I made that prediction, I was the only person on the planet, as far as I know, to predict that Nobody would be the GOP nominee. However, new polls suggest that Nobody’s position among the Republican field has improved in recent weeks:
- A recent USA Today/Gallup polls shows that Nobody is tied with Herman Cain and Mitt Romney for the lead nationwide. The totals for all of the existing candidates is 79%, leaving 21% to Nobody, the same as Cain and Romney. This is the first time Nobody has had a claim for the lead since the very early stages of the race.
- A somewhat more recent poll by Clemson University shows Nobody taking a significant lead in South Carolina with 31%. Herman Cain is in second place with 22%, and his numbers are likely to fall further as his sexual harassment issues continue to distract from his message.
Now I can hear the naysayers saying “Nay! It is impossible for Nobody to win the primary. Even if Nobody had 99%, somebody would win because there must be a human winner.” This may be technically true, but it is impossible for Nobody to win, then who will win? Which of the candidates in the Republican primary, other than Nobody, can possibly win?
And if the Republicans were wise, they would chose Nobody. After all, polls show Obama losing to a “Republican”, but only if Nobody is specified as the Republican candidate. What’s more, Nobody has the ability to appeal to tea-party puritanism while maintaining a sane and practical outlook, Nobody can offer a tax plan that appeals to conservatives without causing massive debts, and Nobody has a political and personal background that is free from anything that would deeply offend GOP constituents. Not only is Nobody a viable candidate in the Republican field, but I truly believe that Nobody can win.